Well, I finally figured out where it came from. I always knew it was from the ol' work place, but little did I know it was from repeated bangings against one bar on the boat. That bruise my friends, is from me reaching through a fence for a line (rope..if you will) to hook up the boat. 3 times a day I do it and don't really realize I hit my arm that hard.
Now that I know I don't have cancer, I am pretty excited to be able to tell people about my bruise.
You know how you sometimes think you have cancer? I think it's probably a common thought, what with the media constantly telling us that we probably will get cancer from eating. Yes. Just eating will give us cancer. Sun will. Second-hand smoke. Looking at things. Working with people. Working alone. Being lazy. Smiling. etc. You know all this, I don't have to tell you.
I don't have health insurance. So that brings me a little past the "doing okay" curve. Where as if you had health insurance, you feel healthy because you know that if you got sick you can just skip over to the doctor and get it fixed. Well, I know that if I got sick, I'd either have to go to the emergency room (if a bone is sticking out of my arm) or just sit at home and drink emergen-C until I feel better. But I also have the additional "I hope I don't fall down these stairs or get hit by that car, (or in my case) fall off this boat because I don't have enough money to pay for an ambulance to go 3 feet with me in it"....This causes stress. Stress and a constant paranoia of "I haven't gone to the doctor for a couple of years, I hope I don't have cancer".
So when I discovered where I got this bruise (and the prekarious knot that came with it) I was So very happy that it wasn't some cancer of the muscle or something.
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In other news, working on said boat, I have worked up an awesome tan (and its only JULY!) and some kick ass biceps. I was honestly standing in front of the mirror the other night and flexing. I became a 23 year old boy and was FLEXING in front of a mirror. What a douche! :) hahaa.
Also. This tv...you see here...
has a limited life left. And not because its going to stop working. But because of the February 17th "All Digital" requirement for all tvs. No more antennas! A normal person would not even care about that requirement because they don't have a tv that uses an antenna anymore. But I do. I do.
I've had this tv since I was little. When we took road trips it was powered by the cigarette lighter and my brother and I watched whatever it could pick up. Then it disappeared for a bit. And I don't know when, but I did discover it again and made it mine. This is my bedroom tv. My tv I watch when I'm going to bed. When I get up in the morning. Whether or not I actually listen to it, it's on in the background.
It's going to die soon. I don't think I can buy a box for this tv. Do I even want to? Ah. Sadness.
Thirdly, you ever have someone in the back of your mind and you can't stop thinking about them and its not like you are trying to think about them, but they constantly keep distracting you without even being there? You ever just want to just...be near someone...just for like a few minutes, so that your day would be a bit better? A few minutes, but more would be...more would be the best option? You ever forget what was going on right after you hugged (just Hugged!) someone? Have you?
I have.
Well, from all of us here in my bedroom (me and my tv), I'll talk to you later. Why? Because I don't have cancer and I gotta go celebrate.
2 comments:
Stress. Health insurance. Fear of fatal diseases. I can relate.
I started having recurring chest and arm pains, dizziness and heart palpatations about three years ago...to the point where I thought I was having a heart attack once and called an ambulance (I still had insurance then thank god).
The hospital doctors found nothing and my regular doc said I have an anxiety disorder and I'm just generally depressed. I've always been a constant worrier...so I've been taking Xanax everyday since May '06 and I absolutely hate it. I feel like my life is reliant on a bottle of pills.
I try to work around it (I don't tell a lot of people because I'm an idiot and hate that kind of attention) and recently I've been exercising more. But I still have to take at least half-a-pill every morning ($74 a month without insurance).
And it'll be this way until I'm happy. It'll be this way until I get my writing done (which I'm doing now). It'll be this way until I'm writing movie screenplays and tv scripts that get produced.
Happy belated b-day:) I'll try to see your stage stuff more often now that I'm recommitted to reaching my goal. But those pills usually wear off in the evening...so I can't promise anything unfortunately.
Sorry if this came off too serious (which explains my problems in a nutshell).
Digital TV. What can ya do?
-Anthony H.
Ah yes heart palpitations. I have those too.
more recently. more often.
oh. stress. :oP
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