Things I think about

Well it's a Friday night and I'm just chillin out at my house. After a long day of spending time with myself (i.e. on the computer and watching tv) my mind tends to wander a bit. Minds tend to do that when they're bored! But it was going to rain today and rained quite a bit tonight and with severe thunderstorm warnings and everything, I had to stay in. Just HAD to. So...I thought about things I could be doing: Like learning the tour I have to know in maybe a week or more, a restaurant gift certificate I have to buy for a friends bridal shower, if I actually want to go out late tonight or not, I should get up and exercise and what kinda things do I want to eat?
Trivial stuff like that.

But more real things come up from time to time like: Am I doing the right thing with my life? What would happen if I just left, left for a year and traveled the world? Would people miss me? Would I miss the life I have now? Why am I so scared to open myself to people sometimes? I wish all my friends and family could live where I live, that way I could see them more often.

Unemployment brings up lots of things you try not to think about when you are busy working 9-5 and rehearsing for a play the rest of the time. I think I overthink things. Over think in a way that it doesn't become all that important anymore. I mean, not everything, but most important things. Although sometimes its a good thing I think, because then you weigh every option and try and foresee all conclusions....forgive me. I'm reading this book "Day Watch" (science fiction of course) where these people get to see all lines of possibilities of everything. And it makes you Think..

Would that be a good thing? I suppose it would be. Then you could stop making some mistakes you wish you wouldn't have made. And make mistakes that you can see will make things better.
It would be a bad thing too. You wouldn't explore anymore. You wouldn't be surprised. You would just be a mush of stuff that knew when everything would happen.

So would it be such a bad thing for me to just go off on a road trip or go to a different country and get to know people there? But that would make all the work I've done here go away, and I'd have to try again and get to know more people.

I have had a plan for my life for...oh I don't know...14 years. Its as simple as just wanting to make people laugh for a living. (And not getting caught up in the politics of success). But its as complicated as me making lists of actors I'd love to work with, movies I'd love to write, tv shows I'd love to be on/I'd love to host. Practicing how I'd answer questions Conan O'Brien asks and getting his admiration by making him laugh.

You ever think, when you are in an airplane, that the people you are sharing this space with never existed to you until you saw them at that moment? And yet they have complicated lives and families and friends and places to go and dreams of their own. You never existed to them until that moment. That one moment when you walked by each other, never to speak or laugh together, cry or dream with one another. And you exist. And they exist.

These are things I think about. I'd love to make those people laugh. Come out of a movie theatre and talk about "that movie" and quote it months later, much like my friends and I.

Those people. I want to reach them.

Don't worry about me though, I know I will. I know it because I have no other plans really. Other than to just go off to another country and explore. Which I know I'll be able to do once I get what I want here. I just have to be patient.

I don't know if I've told you...mystery reader...but I believe in reincarnation. Definitely. My mom tells me I'm an old soul. (oh mothers :-) ) But she has said other people say the same thing about me. And maybe I've bought into it or maybe it really is true. But I do believe you can tell a new soul vs. an old soul. Maybe it's in my brain only, but if you really listen to people and watch what they do...its easy to see old and new.

And maybe I'm on the last few of my lives (and by few...I mean...more than a few) right now. Because I feel relaxed about living life. Relaxed and confident that my dreams will come true. And I can't explain it in words about how I feel. But I can feel the world and things and an absolute energy that they emit.

I dunno. I had a dream the other night, where someone was in this museum and was looking at an exhibit of different religions of the world. And they didn't like "christianity" or even "taoism" or "buddhism" and they couldn't figure out where they stood. And I came up to them and explained to them about an energy that the earth and everything on it gave off. And it supported the earth and it was this bright blue light that no one was afraid of because it was Peace in all its entirety and all you had to do was FEEL it. Absorb it and become it and you would feel okay.

And I feel okay. I feel great. Though, I'm a bit tired....well, because I didn't do anything today, and it's 12:30am.

So ...these are things I think about.

A Glimpse into New Mexican Culture -Our Skies

Now before you start arguing on why your cities sky is much better...read this blog.

New Mexico. Land of Enchantment.

(or enTRAPment if you are between the ages of 13 and 18)

We have lots of sky here. LOTS of it. So much that when I was searching for New Mexican "Sky" pictures I found many other people blogging about how wonderful the skies are here..

Angel Station
Atma Jyoti
Caffeinated Gonzo

So why then are they so beautiful? How are they different?
Well first, there isn't anyone I know that sits watching a New Mexican sunset saying "gross". Secondly, the layout (?) of our wonderful state (especially Albuquerque) allows you a view of practically everything.

This allows for wonderful skies.

The Bosque

One of my favorite times in NM is monsoon season (July-August). Not only because we finally get moisture, but because around 4:00pm in the afternoon every day you can see the storms coming. The clouds? HUGE. I could swear they are at least 30 stories tall.

A storm. (from the blog - Atma Jyoti)

During the aformentioned storm you can watch the wonderful lightning strike the city in a blaze of glory. Let me explain. Because you get a view of everything, you can check out one side of the sky and talk about how the sun looks like one big red circle (you know what i mean..) and then BAM! Out in the corner of your eye is a smattering of lightning. This happens every day! (during a monsoon) Plus, watching it in the safety of your own home? Priceless.

And I say safety of your own home because New Mexico has a high rate of lightning striking people. Cause we like to be outside. To see the sky.

Lightning on the mountains!

 Not to mention our sunsets. The sunsets in New Mexico can't be beat. In a recent trip to ol' NM, I took some pictures of our sunset for this blog. I realized its pretty hard to convert 6 pictures of a sunset into 1 panoramic picture of a sunset without the necessary tools. So what I'm asking you hear is to picture this 2-part sunset picture as 1. 

Our sunsets.

This is the point in the blog where you go..."WHOA. That IS pretty. But wait, I bet you were in the country like many of these pictures I've been looking at have been taken. What about the city?"

The city you ask? Well, reader, I walked probably 200 feet from my parents front door (in order not to get the trees in the picture) to see this wonderful sunset. In good old Albuquerque. The biggest city in New Mexico.

We used to live in the mountains where the Sandia's would block us from this spectacular view, but the view at night would make up for it. The view in NM's night skies? The Milky Way. You can SEE it. Not just a bunch of "stars" but a magnificent i-don't-know-what jumble of beauty. But I could be biased.

Actually taken in New Mexico!

Our skies. We love them. Most of us don't take them for granted ( I say most, because I can't speak for everybody). And so shouldn't you when you come visit our wonderful state. Can I recommend a good place to see the sunset? Anywhere in the east of ABQ (because its on a 'slant'), anywhere in the middle of New Mexico on the side of a road, anywhere on a mountain....Basically Anywhere my friend. Anywhere. So come see 'em and take a lot of pictures because you'll miss 'em when you're gone. 

The Neighbor of the Neighbor

(This is a rant. I have not censored myself. I wish she would read this..oh how I wish)

Dear Downstairs Neighbors,

Fuck you. You know what? It's Friday night. At 10:30pm. And you want me to be quiet so you can SLEEP? How old are you? Oh yeah you're 23. TWENTY THREE. 

Did you know that I SHUFFLE around when I walk during the day so that you don't get mad? I go out of my way to not make noise so that I don't hear that "Bang bang bang" on my floor...on a Monday ....at NOON.

Who do you think you are? You don't own this place! You aren't some princess that gets what she wants. You aren't, sorry to break it to you but you are in the middle of Chicago, next to Wrigley Field, and you live by thousands of bars. 

I am NOT going to be quiet. 

OH yeah. Thanks for introducing yourself to me and my roommate when we first moved here. Thanks for giving us a warm welcome with open arms. Thanks for that. Because thats what good neighbors do. You get to know each other...

Oh wait. Nope thats not what you did. 1 - 2 days into moving in? You came up and told us to be quiet, and said that it had been happening for 3 days now...guess what. That was our first night there. So...SHUT the fuck up.

Yeah and that first note? Where you said that we apparently controlled the heat? And you were this victim that we were out to get, keeping you frozen at night because we are evil monsters...WE don't control it. Never did. Your psycho boyfriend you argue with in the stairwell told you that. 

That second note? Where you said "I know you have to walk but..." and gave us some crazy "it didn't happen before" bullshit and STILL didn't introduce yourself? I still know you as "downstairs neighbor" and "below you". 

Let me tell you something you son of a bitch. You will NEVER be happy with us. If I have to tiptoe up here (IN MY OWN LIVING SPACE THAT I'M PAYING FOR) you won't be happy. You should live in the fucking country by yourself because THAT is the quiet that you want. 

YOU Shut up. YOU leave ME alone. I have had nothing but shitty high maintenance SHIT from you since I moved in and God damn it if it has made my life a more miserable. And you know what? Its not my fault. NO. IT IS NOT ME.

Hey remember when on a Tuesday night at 6:30pm I accidentally dropped that picture frame? And I heard the "BANG BANG" from you? Remember that? I swear to god I will punch you in the mouth. IT SCARED ME TOO. I DROPPED A FUCKING PICTURE FRAME.

GET a fucking life. Seriously. If you think for one moment that the "bang bang" will make it all better. Or being a big douche bag will make me FLOAT above the wood floor, you need to get a clue. YOU are in BED on a Friday night at 10:30. Not MY fault, don't make me as miserable as I'm sure you are. 

I am not a violent person. But you get under my skin and I don't like people under my skin. I don't LIKE you. NEVER will. Why? because you won't CALM DOWN.

STOP IT

From...

Your upstairs neighbor.